Wow, this thread has gone beyond the pale and into the realm of the ludicrous ("It's Spaceball 1! They've gone PLAID!").
On that note, as a kid, I used to log on to my dad's work network and play this bizarre game where I was an '@' symbol, and I would wander around in a dungeon and kill things. I never knew what it was until just recently. Nethack. So, without further ado, I present:
Nethack3.4.3 for all your adventuring needs. It runs on most any platform (including Amiga!) and is a great way to kill six or seven days of your life.