Anon, three or four people here have said, basically, see if there is one little thing you can change to give yourself something to look forward to. If you find it difficult or impossible to get the energy together to do that then you may well be clinically depressed and a trip to your doctor would be just the thing. If you feel "meh, why bother" about that suggestion then you should definitely go.
I know this sounds flippant, but all of us (so far) that have chipped in with comments on your plight have our own experience to draw on. We really have been there .... And we care about you.
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Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of
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