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Big Sarge · 11-26-2011, 03:51 AM

i can't sleep. it has been a miserable time for me. i spent thanksgiving alone and ended up eating a subway sandwich. friday was the 6th anniversary of tull being killed at camp hit, he was decapitated by an ied blast while serving as a gunner on the bn commander's veh. he was scheduled to go home in about 2 weeks. i'll never forget the blood in that veh and the body pieces. 4 of the 5 occupants were wounded. i still have my boots and iba carrier with their blood on it.

In so many ways i'm so alone and haunted by things in my past. sometimes i think i see tull in the corner of my eye. just a glimpse at times. for some reason it gives me comfort. if only i could sleep and forgive myself. will i ever find peace and happiness? will i ever get well or they ever figure out what is really wrong with me. I'm so f-ing tired of getting a different diagnosis and another tumor evry few months.

11-26-2011, 03:51 AM	#7390
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	i can't sleep. it has been a miserable time for me. i spent thanksgiving alone and ended up eating a subway sandwich. friday was the 6th anniversary of tull being killed at camp hit, he was decapitated by an ied blast while serving as a gunner on the bn commander's veh. he was scheduled to go home in about 2 weeks. i'll never forget the blood in that veh and the body pieces. 4 of the 5 occupants were wounded. i still have my boots and iba carrier with their blood on it. In so many ways i'm so alone and haunted by things in my past. sometimes i think i see tull in the corner of my eye. just a glimpse at times. for some reason it gives me comfort. if only i could sleep and forgive myself. will i ever find peace and happiness? will i ever get well or they ever figure out what is really wrong with me. I'm so f-ing tired of getting a different diagnosis and another tumor evry few months. __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.