Thread: Dear Family
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Old 12-06-2011, 08:23 AM   #59
infinite monkey
it's just a spring clean for the May queen
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 12,275
Dear student,

It is not my fault your aid was terminated at our school due to your lack of satisfactory academic progress. Also, I'm not your slave, serf, bondservent, vassal, chattel, or dog.

I'm happy to assist your new school by zeroing out future disbursements. All you need is to ask. Out of 25,000 students, I forgot to read your mind and realize your plans had changed since the origination was made.

Therefore, leaving a nasty message that anything we've done is unacceptable is, well, unacceptable. I will fulfill your request, but I sure as hell am not calling your bitchy underachieving ass back, due to the reasons stated in the first paragraph.

This will all be noted in your file, should you have any questions when you lose your aid at your new school (a Clown College, no doubt) and you decide to appeal due to our insufficient hand-holding as you bitched your way through your free money here.

Thank you, and have a blessed day.
At the end of the day, it's all about the end of the day. Because at the end of the day, the day ends and that's what matters at the end of the day. Or something.

--Me, hater of the "at the end of the day" phrase
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