[it]

honestly when we where together i didnt see a contradiction adopting him as my own and having children because she continuesly talked about wanting to have children with me and it was me putting it off for better economical times when we both have income... i guess that doesn't really apply anymore.

and as far as talking things out, i tried that there, i tried that here first thing when i came back, and then i tried asking for a 6 month cool down period... she 'nay'ed me on all 3, she's as far off beyond reason as she can be.

i should note that she is still getting child support form the boy's biological father, not x husband, but at some point before me she went on welfare and the government sued him to pay it before they would need to, and she's still getting money for it, even though its the minimum legal amount (150$ a month). can she even get child support from one x and spousal support from another?

and do lawyers have... payment plans?