[Aliantha]

trac, my post was in no way meant to be personal or about you in any way. It's just my opinion, and I certainly don't think that pretending something didn't happen or didn't hurt is the best way to deal with things. In fact, acknowledging those things is imperative. Letting the negative feelings that you feel when you think of those things control your other thoughts is bad though. It shouldn't be all pervasive.

If I could get personal for a second though, I'd suggest that maybe if things are really that hard for you right now, and I can understand why they might be, maybe you need some help. It sounds a lot to me like you're maybe a bit clinically depressed, and maybe you could talk to a doctor about that? It could really help. I'm only saying this from reading your posts on this forum, so I don't really know what's going on inside your head, but you just seem to be having a lot of trouble coping right now.