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I have three children. 16, 11 and soon to be 7.
I am a firm believer in the spanking approach, depending on the severity of the offense and the child.
I use a belt, on bare ass, no more than three swats, while I am NOT angry. I'll make them wait in their room until I'm calm, then I'll go in there, talk about it calmly, then administer the spanking.
It worked on Justin until he just became defiant and dared me to spank him, then there was shit all I could do.
Most of the time I didn't have to go that route with Bryan, but occasionally, he got the swat on the clothed butt with the hand.
Piglet, all I have to do is raise my voice and send her to her room, and she's crying and upset and understands she messed up.
Again, punishment is kind of a holistic thing. Always be consistant, don't make threats you can't (or aren't willing to drop everything else to) keep. Make sure the rules are age-appropriate, the punishment is scaled (time outs/room banishments, no tv for the night, whatever) to fit the "crime" and that those levels of punishment are also consistant.
My ex Mark was NEVER spanked as a child, and his mother lived with us for awhile. She was ready to beat Justin within an inch of his life, and this is a woman who has done inhome child care for over 25 years.
And according to CPA in Nevada (who Justin called on me for beating his ass) you can spank with bare hand on the ass, but no where else. He basically said "don't leave marks and you're ok."
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