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Originally Posted by The West Wing, Season 1, Episode 5, The Crackpots and These Women
MAN 2: May we tell you what we propose?
C.J.: Sure.
MAN: The wolves-only roadway.
C.J.: [surprised] The wolves-only roadway?
MAN: Eighteen hundred miles from Yellowstone to the Yukon Territory complete with highway overpasses and no cattle grazing.
C.J.: [still surprised] An 1800-mile wolves-only roadway?
WOMAN: Pluie, you’ll recall, had to...
C.J.: Hang on. How are you gonna teach wolves to follow road signs?
MAN 2: Our scientists are working on a plan.
C.J.: Yeah, but in the meantime, Pluie’s gonna get drunk and wander off the wolves-only road and end up eating my cat.
MAN 1: [scoffs] We don’t think that’ll happen.
C.J.: I don’t think this is gonna happen. [indicating the roadway]
JERRY: Perhaps, if we should...
C.J.: First of all, ranchers don’t want wolves returned to the West.
MAN: Ranchers are killers.
C.J.: No, they’re not. And anyone who says it should take it back. Ranchers face the following conditions: falling stock prices, rising taxes, prolonged drought, and a country that’s eating less beef. Ranchers want to blame something, and because they’re ranchers, they want to fight something. I’d rather be a wolf than us, so unless Pluie registers to vote...
WOMAN: Pluie was shot and killed by a rancher in British Columbia last month.
The two men and the woman bow down their heads.
C.J.: I’m... sorry to hear that.
WOMAN: I’m not sure you are.
C.J.: [throat clearing] Just out of curiosity, how much would it cost?
MAN: That’s the beauty part. With contributions and corporate sponsorship, the cost to the taxpayer is only 900 million dollars.
C.J.: [laughs very hard] No, seriously, how much would it cost?
JERRY: C.J., if we’re gonna do this, why not do it right?
C.J.: We’re not gonna do it.
MAN: Sure, there are other things we could spend the money on.
C.J.: You think?
WOMAN: I’d like to hear what you think. What’s a better way to spend this money?
C.J.: Nine hundred million dollars?
WOMAN: Another war plane, another S&L Bailout?
C.J.: How about we build the nine best schools in the world?
MAN: Let’s... Let’s move on to the grizzly bear.
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