[BigV]

Originally Posted by Brianna

BigV - Why on earth would you "carry around negative thoughts about people like this" when you don't even know the person? I have no thoughts about this guy - I am responding to his treatment of a woman I know a little bit and like and can relate to.

ffs. I"m here for orthodoc, not some vague, dick-ish sounding "can't spare a moment for a pal" areshole.

so sue me. I'm on HER side.

consider yourself sued?

I think our posts crossed, I had to step out for a trip to the store. To answer your question, I do better in my life when I don't carry around, in my head, thoughts, memories, opinions about others (or myself for that matter) that focus on the negative... it's a burden to me. It's a burden I don't need to bear, so I put it down when I can. There are lots of times with lots of people, myself included, when someone makes a dick move. I just try not to give it more weight than it deserves. I try to separate the "sin from the sinner" if you will. The action has come and gone but the person might still be around. I don't want to be ruled by my emotions. I consider them, they guide me, the energize me, but they're notoriously fickle and poor leaders. I try to lead with my head. And my head tells me that people are more than their words and actions. Words and actions matter, OF COURSE. But

In this case, I'd say: "What a dick." And move on. If it were someone else I would have more contact with, I'd think say: "That was a dick move that one time. Don't be a dick now. I'm looking forward to better this time. I'm glad that's behind us."