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I can't begin to address all that but I can make a suggestion or two that you can try if you are game.
At your job, be sure to smile and greet people and act like you enjoy serving them. Some folks will still act like jerks to you but I promise the jerk count will decrease and some folk will actually smile back and be nice back. If you are a bitchy waitress (not saying you are but IF you are) then bitchy customers are a certainty. I was a waiter for five years so I know the drill.
Secondly, find some time to help the less fortunate. Volunteer somewhere - old folks home, battered women's shelter, soup line, whatever. In my experience, it is very hard to feel depressed when helping others.
It sounds like you don't feel in control of your life. Not something that can be dealt with in the Cellar but if you want true peace you must find a way to regain control of your life and not feel like a victim. If you aren't running your life then who is?
Report back with some progress - that's an order.
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