[Trilby]

thanks, all. And that's very funny, Spexx, but really nice, too. I was a drinker (a hard one) but so was he - he just never felt any consequences from it and I did and that made him mad. And he was a daily toker when we were married but I think he's quit that (job-related pressure) and his true, anxiety ridden personality came out then AFTER the divorce, so I think that's a big reason he's changed into his true douche-self. Though, he still drinks and taverns are his abode of choice. (to be honest, I could live in a tavern myself. Tavern wench is my true calling)

I was the drinking buddy of his dreams, just not the wife/mother of his dreams though to be fair, I worked full time AND had the two little boys AND all the housewifey stuff while he 1)played darts every Sat. night on a league; 2) played on FIVE softballs teams and 3) played in a pool league. and went to Dead shows whenever he could whether I could go with him or not. so. Not much help at home as taking 1 and 2 year olds to taverns and boozy softball games is NOT really something a Good Mother does. Oh, yeah - I was also in nursing school. I think I was in a manic phase for a good part of my twenties.

In my dream I am jealous and angry that he has tossed me aside to be with this other woman. The woman is not the wife he has now (I rather like her, to be truthful) but she's a VERSION of a woman he wants which is NOT me. He is laughing at my tears and tantrums. He abandons me in a bar in NYC and I don't know how to get out - how to leave or where to go. I"m lost and when I find him and her finally, they laugh at me. THEY DON'T WANT ME. GO AWAY! So when I wake up, I feel sad and headachy and like I need a drink.

TMI? sorry. I'm channeling tw.