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Sorry, foot3 ... I would get with the planning before doing any ripping. With kids in the picture there isn't any way to do things quickly anyway, so use the time to get good advice and interview a few attorneys. I thought I was clued-in but it turned out there was a ton of stuff I didn't know, stuff that made a huge difference.
If you go the route of mediation it'll likely reduce the collateral damage - but you still need all the info you can get, to help you plan.
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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi 
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