[ladysycamore]

Originally posted by staceyv
1) job i hate and i feel stuck in

Like I said to you before, at least you *can* work. Try finding a job with a disability...it ain't easy.

2) marital problems

Well, I can't relate to that, but you did say that you and he will be going to counseling, so that's a start.

3) no friends or social support

You can change this. Have you *tried* to get out and meet people? Maybe join a club or a group in your town. All of my friends are "back home" in Baltimore, and there's only one that I keep in contact with on a regular, and that's just ok, because all she does is complain about how bad HER life is! (yikes)

4) no goals for the future, no idea of what to do with myself

It's good to have goals. Try to make a list of things that you now want to accomplish, like getting to therapy, to heal yourself, to change bad habits and embrace better ones, and so on. Don't think of school just yet, just try to get through each day, and don't pressure yourself to do to much too soon. School will always be there.

I technically don't have any goals either, except, I guess, to try to maintain what little good health I have left. Years ago, I wanted to be a great photographer. However, I don't think that will happen anytime soon, because I can't stand for long periods of time anymore, and now that my kidneys are done, I have too many low blood pressure days that leave me weak. The hardest thing is to give up that dream, because it was photography that got me out of a 2 years depression back in the early 90's.

5) severe menstrual cramps that interfere with my life

You should really see a doctor about that. It could be something serious.

6) major cigarette addiction

What have you tried in the past to quit?

7) financial problems like credit card debt, and living week to week with no savings and no end in sight

You may want to look into credit consolidation (like CCCS). I've been with them for about 4 years, and believe me, it made a difference in paying down my debt.

8) unhappy with appearance and nothing i can do except wait over a year until my hair grows

I used to have flawless, thick hair, smooth skin, clear skin on face (no breakouts, acne, etc.), well taken care of nails...in other words, I used to be fierce (at least, so I thought so..lol). End Stage Renal Disease and Type 2 Diabetes ruined all of that (oh, and my dialysis put 40 extra pounds on me). Skin, scalp, and nails...painfully dry. Seems like no matter what I do, everything just...dries out. It's pitiful. Face: suddenly, I got a mild case of acne, and I've tried various things to get rid of it. Eventually, I'll have to see a dermatologist. Oh, and did I mention about the catheter sticking out of my belly? Talk about "image" problems. It's not so bad now, but when I first got it, it was not a good time for me. And then there's the pot belly that one acquires by carrying around 4 pounds (that's right!) of dialysis fluid in one's belly all day long. Clothes tend to not fit as well as they once did, and that's no fun either.

So, your hair will be fine. Sorry, but if hair growing back is the only problem you have with appearance, then consider yourself lucky.

9)can't excercise, even though i want to, because it interferes with work

You know what I did when I could't exercise? I did low impact movement at home. You know why I couldn't exercise? I had plenty of time, for sure. I just had this little problem with my parathyroid hormone. When the levels are too high, it can cause extreme pain in the muscles and joints. Ask Sycamore: I spent all of last summer in major pain. But as soon as I got mobile, things started to change. My point: if you are able to move, then you can exercise. If you want, I can post a link to a site that has been helpful to me and to many others in my situation, when we couldn't leave the home to exercise. And even though things have gotten much better in the last several months, I still have problems walking for long periods of time, so it's a bummer to be out and have to constantly sit down to rest.

10) can't eat like normal people. sick of explaining it to people, can't go out to eat.

Can't...or won't? When the doctors told me that I HAD (repeat: HAD) to change my diet, I was like, "Oh boy, now Syc and I can't go out to eat ever again". After some time had passed and I got used to the new diet, I found that that's not true at all. What I try to do is to focus not on what I can't eat, but on what I CAN eat (which isn't much). Try being on a low sodium, low fat, low carb, low sugar, low phosphorus diet. Truthfully, it sucks. And I have to watch my fluids as well. Too much can build up in the body, and cause edema in my legs.

i feel so hopeless and miserable. at least maybe i can make someone else feel better about their own life.

Nope, sorry, but parts of my life still sucks (except for Sycamore, of course!), but I hope that what *I* posted makes you feel better about yours. At least you are not facing parathyroid surgery and a future kidney (and possible) pancreas transplant.

Stacey, I truly understand that you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders right about now. But, the things that you are stressing over are workable...my situation is permanent. Even if I were to get a transplant, I'd still have to worry about the side effects of the anti-rejection drugs, one of which is cancer (not to mention worrying about rejection, and having to go back on dialysis).

Basically, you need to get proactive in making changes in your life. Take control of your life: see doctors about your health (trust me, finding out things now can and will save you more stress later in life), join groups OUTSIDE of the internet, go to counseling, find a hobby.

Good luck.