[Trilby]

I am such a goddamn FOOOL that I should be shot immediately (after given sufficient morphine).

Remember Professor Tiny Bits? well-got over him. Years ago. Feeling good, livin' life, making a life for myself, gave up his drama and yes-but-no-but-maybe.

Well, a few weeks ago HE emailed me OUT OF THE BLUE to say thank you for winning the White House for Obama (he's one of those rich liberals who, if he HAD to walk amongst the hoi polloi, would die of the stench, dahling) anyway- he said, "Let's be friends," and I STUPIDLY SAID OKAY. Knowing he was seeing/or saw a woman in England only 15 years his junior instead of my 21 years. And all I know of her is that she is a prof. at UEL and "will do anything" - use your dirty imaginations.

well, I wrote him a very vanilla email a few days ago (about a month after he'd first contacted me) about my 'rents, kids and how are his grandkids-one of which I've never seen. Asked him to send me a pic of her. thanks! have a good day!

TODAY i get an email telling me he'd like to go into more but it's hellish you see as his marriage has reached 'a crisis point' ----more later.

dumbdumbdumbdumbdumb I am so DMB! I am SO FUCKING DUMB. It's amazing I've managed to stay alive this long-most of my tribe threw themselves from stormy cliffs into the sea at age 14. geeeeeeeeeSUS.

He ONLY contacted me so he could triangulate this thing into some sort of -what, help me here Zen, what? a square? a four-sided relationship? Or am I "x" to their triangle? What the FUCK does he need a 'friend' for when he's got plenty except to taunt me with this 'crisis' bullshit which I am SURE involves some woman who is prettier, brighter, more accomplished, manicured, Chanel-ed and perfect in every way including her perfect, perfect cunt.

GODDDDDDDDDDDAMN.


Good thing I see my therapist tomorrow. I feel like drinking a gallon of rum at this asshole.