[richlevy]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Packet mix-wise I've been eating Simon Rimmer's meal range

I prefer Dave Lister's meal range, myself.

Not so sure I'd want him to cook for me, though.

Captain Frank Hollister: For crying out loud, Rimmer!
Arnold Rimmer (alive): - the outcome of which was a proposal by the aforementioned Lister to the aforementioned Rimmer to cook him breakfast.
Captain Frank Hollister: Okay, I'm getting the picture.
Arnold Rimmer (alive): Breakfast comprised of two eggs, three rashers of bacon, a grilled tomato, two sausages, a small portion of fried potatoes... and a large quantity of _mushrooms_. Having consumed this repast, second technician Rimmer, Arnold J. experienced what can only be described as a voyage to trip-out city. To whit, a major hallucinogenic fit.
Captain Frank Hollister: Lister, is this true?
Lister: No, sir. I'm sure it was only one egg.
Arnold Rimmer (alive): The aforementioned Rimmer, to whit, me, then attended inspection parade. He was totally naked except for a pair of mock-leather driving gloves and some blue swimming goggles. Under the influence of this psychadelic breakfast he went on to attack two senior officers, believing them to be giraffes who were armed and dangerous.

[Rimmer is drunk]
Rimmer: I want a triple fried egg sandwich with...
Lister: With chili sauce and chutney.
Holly: You what?
Lister: It's a state-of-the-art sarnie.
Holly: It's the state of the floor I'm worried about. All right, okay.
[the sarnie appears in Rimmer's hand]
Lister: Trust me.
[several conflicting emotions cross Rimmer's face]
Rimmer: I think I'm having a baby.
Lister: It's good, innit?
Rimmer: It's incredible. Where did you get the recipe?
Lister: I can't remember. I think it was a book on bacteriological warfare.
Rimmer: It's like a cross between food and bowel surgery.