[footfootfoot]

So I've been going to get my brain tightened once a week now for a while and learning how to negotiate the split, she just began seeing a counselor of her own and the idea is that after a while we go see someone together who has spoken with each of our shrinks.

So my homework for the week is to think about who I am taking care of in our interactions and learn to take care of me. OK sounds good, very hard to do or even notice at the time.

So today a friend of ours stops by and invites us to a thing tonight; music and dancing. I don't really dance, or I should say I really don't dance. I do dance but not to the beat everyone else is hearing. I find it very hard to pick out the bass in most music as I have a figure/ground hearing issue. So for all intents and purposes I don't dance with other people.

And, I really hate last minute invites to things sometimes. It depends a lot on who and what, but this was one of those times. These were are hippy friends who believe in extra terrestrials, chemtrails, and other really really out there conspiracy theories. They are a lot of fun in minute doses, not whole evenings worth.

And, I really am not so into going on a "date" with my wife especially when she thinks it would be an antidote rather than some sort of nostrum for our slowly poisoned marriage.

Here's the mind boggling part that reminds me of how out of it she really is. After asking me if I want to go out with her on a date (Not really, I don't dance and I don't want to sit next to mr hippy who doesn't dance and listen to him drone on without a pause about ...) she then proceeds to explain to me that the purpose of going on a date is for me to look at her and admire her and shower her with lots of attention, more admiration, desire, and longing.

So based on that it would seem that she thinks the reason our marriage is on the rocks is that I don't worship her enough. That is true because you can't fill a well with snow, but why would I be leaving her if all I needed to do to make everything better was to worship her? I can see how she's trying to change the problem in her mind to one she can win at. It isn't that she was so nasty to me over the years that she killed any warm feelings I had, it's that she's leaving because I am not paying her enough attention and here's my chance to make things better.


I am deep in WTF territory and putting the full court press on full time job hunting so I can either buy her out or move out.

Not sure how much sense any of that made.