Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous
It's like the only way I see out, to save my face which is apparently more important than saving my life...is to be seriously injured, seriously sick, or dead.
No I don't really want to die. But I want to be out of it. I want to go away. I am back to wanting to run my car off a cliff. There aren't many happy noments intersecting all the crap right now. Very few laughs keepign me going. But I am not important. I used to be. I used to be considered really really good. No one cares. so why do I bother?
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I know who you are too, and I apologize for making your problem about me and what I went thru. My motive was to let you know I know just how fucked up a work place can be. My two sisters looooooooooove their jobs. The most fun I had working was being a waitress but I was young and cute then so it would be much, much different now.
Meds. Sounds like you need to make an appointment to tweak them or at least talk to your doctor. I know the feeling of wanting to run off the road just to get some relief...it's a dangerous feeling. I also know you don't want to die but you feel like you are dying a slow death in the trap of your workplace. If you call your doc today, at least you will have done one healthy thing for yourself today. You will have a goal to stick around for that day when you can see him or her and get some relief. I've found crying like a hysterical nutcase in their office tends to bring them out of their zombie-like daze and help. God, I remember what it was like. It was unbearable.
And it's not you, sweetie; it's them. It really, really is them. Dysfunctional people will come together like magnets and ostrasize the one normal among them b/c they're terrible people and they want everyone to be terrible.
I wish I had a magic wand...