[Sundae]

I don't exactly know how you feel, but I certainly remember being at the end of my tether.
Grief at home, awful job - the only pleasure I has was riding on buses. I used to get off at Oxford Circus to take the 172. It extended my journey by about an hour and a half. Shitty, shitty life.

Seriously. nothing is worth this. You work hard. You make a difference. Fuck them if they can't see that. Quit and take a low pressure job in a bar or a supermarket or a sandwich shop. You'll get bored of it on the second day, but pretty much everyone will be nice to you. And it will give you the push you need to get back into something fulfilling.

Wish you had a financial safety net over there. When I moved back to Aylesbury, Dani suggested I went on Disability Benefit. It was 100% the right thing to do. I had the time to volunteer at a school. The school I now work at. The only way I could be happier with my job is if they paid me 5x my salary so I could get a place of my own.

Readjust your perception of failure, Anon.
Your fambly might not like the decisions you make, but they're a lot better than having to read that note.