[Sundae]

Just about everything worrying at me since I got home.
Mum back in Ignore mode, though I'm not really sure why, but as she's shouting at Dad it's probably something he did, not me. I've been blamelessly working after school, going to an Occucational Health meeting and to counselling.

A loan I thought I could make a few deferrels on is due in full on Thursday instead. Taken out when I was confident of my monthly income. Having been signed off work for nearly a month in Dec/ Jan I have no idea what I will be paid. Hairy times.

Been really snacky tonight (possibly in consequence?) which makes me feel fat even though over the course of the week I'm sure it's negligible. And it's all been healthy anyway. Just guilt-attack I think.

And not much more really, just general grumps added to having horrible dreams all this week - mostly about money, alcohol and family issues - no idea where they come from?! From my Mum telling me my Dad is not my natural father to my sister reporting me to the Police about backstreet abortions and defecating in the alley behind her house.

I feel as if I am missing some layers of skin this week.
All out of control. Even though I have been much further and much deeper before and barely cared.