Quote:
Originally Posted by infinite monkey
Yeah, I should probably just get a cat. 
I wonder if my typing is bothering the other patrons. |
Your typing is only bothering the paranoid schizophrenic huddled in the corner far as possible from you. The sound of you tapping away is confusing him into believing that Jesus is attempting to communicate something important to him via Morse Code - one of the very few languages that the schizophrenic has no knowledge of.
Although the Schizo had also approached the library with the hope that his petition to be free of any trace of humanity would be granted, he will now decide to become your stalker instead. You will discover this development one hot summer afternoon when you get a creepy feeling that causes you to spin around and catch him silently mouthing at you "Click-Click-Clickita-Clickity-Click???"
Your cat will be no help, since each time you left it to its own devices, it practiced sending off Morse code fake pleas for rescue to Sarah McLachlan. Your cat actually does love you - it's just that it loves Sarah more. Cats also refuse to learn Aramaic or have chats with dog as a matter of principle.
That aside, it is almost completely impossible to escape other human beings by going to a library - even at 3am on a winter night down in sub basement 2 where the library tries to hide all those Amish Bodice Ripper novels, you will discover some Mennonite pervert curled up on the floor next to all those tales of plowing the back 40 with your team of mules and staring at their haunches with lust in your heart.
