[Sundae]

Another Nicky, well Nicky Campbell, picked up one of his contributors on 5 Live the other morning for using the term "child porn."

He said that whether we like it or not, pornography as defined by sexual images is part of our lives. Child pornography, however, is simply abuse. That was something I had never heard before and I have to agree with him.

Back to the case in point.
I abhor Ross's suggestion that the way a woman is dressed makes her a target for sexual penetration against her will and with the threat of violence. Ditto her actions - having the temerity to get drunk and maybe flirt.
He made some hideous comment about shops not having high-value items right by the exit because if they were snatched (my deliberate choice of words) then the shops only had themselves to blame.

Being liberal, I do try to see the other point of view in case I can learn something from it.
And I admit that I have previously been in a compromising position, which I shouldn't have put myself in, didn't really feel I wanted to be in, and just did what I thought would cause the least problems. And yes, that included penetration, but only with someone I had already had sex with. I did give more than one blow-job which was a "Maybe now I can sleep" compromise.

I did not consider any of these assault.
No violence or threats were involved.
I had been an interested participant right up until I wasn't, and I compromised.
And I have friends who were in the same situation. We shared our reactions which were a slight distaste, like realising you've started your period in a nightclub and the FHP machine has been smashed in.

BUT I have also known women who were thoroughly manipulated. None of them virgins, but cornered into situations they could not control. With people and in places they realised were scary. One who was an occasional smoker who was deliberately offered a very heavy form of skunk until she did not know what she was doing and ended up with two very, bury nice Oxbridge types. Her fault? Nick Ross would say-so. She was just too sweet and trusting, and honestly felt violated the next day. Did she report them? As if.

Intentions, meanings, outcomes, they are on a sliding scale. That much I give Ross.
But he married it up with the idea that some woen are asking for it.
And that I can never accept.