Ortho, as a physician, you've influenced and improved the
lives of many other people, but you haven't spoken much about that.
If you feel you
just must lay some guilt on yourself, then I think
you
just must balance it off by the good you have already done.
Of course, I don't at all believe a guilt trip is necessary in the first place.
As a parent and g-parent, long ago I said to myself that my work was done.
My kids turned out as they did as a result of thousands of influences.
I'm satisfied I made the best decisions I could at the time,
and I suspect you did too.
Besides, grand-kids are good to look forward to, and any negatives
about them can be laid at the feet of the "parent-in-law"
If you physical well-being allows it, any physical activity,
including seeing patients again, can be an initial treatment
for depressed feelings and all the other woes of the world.
My best wishes for a speedy recovery...