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Post chemo
Sitting here with fuzz for hair
detachable fingernails
a body I don't recognize ...
A brain that doesn't work
words that have no meaning
hearing that does not compute ...
I or not-I sit here post-chemo, post-surgery, post-surgery, post-surgery, post-surgery, post ... oh, fuck it ...
nothing is the same
nothing quite computes
nothing looks or feels or tastes or smells or sounds the same
but
staying awake
all night
staying awake
all day
staying awake
no matter what
there is no sleep there is no rest there is no peace there is no beauty
there is only an experience to which no one can relate
there is only loss
there is only pain
there is only devaluing
why stay awake
why try to sleep
why try to breathe
why
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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi 
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