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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
Q: What can a husband do when his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If he's handy with tools, he can finish the basement. Then when he's finished, he'll have a place to live.
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