[Sundae]

It does suck the big fat one, but a do have the crumb of comfort that that are doing the right thing for them. Mum's life will be happier because of it, and she's been unhappy for quite a while now.

Urgh. Bakery.
If I thought that was my only option I'd stick my head in the oven. Although I'd just get burned, as they're all electric of course.
I'm looking. One of the reasons I'm between a rock and a hard place is that here in Aylesbury we have way below the national level of unemployment. But that's masked by the fact many people have been pushed into part time employment. So we don't draw benefits, but we do rely on other people to live.

For many of my colleagues this is their partner, for me it was my parents. Although I always contributed and tried to pay my way, I was never paying them as much as a lodger would have. And Mum brushed off anything they would have paid whether I was here on not: TV licence, Internet, phone (which I never used but was great for incoming calls), heating. She just said I more than made up for that by my cooking and baking.

She has said that she'll do all my washing and I can use the Internet there, and eat there at least twice a week. Like I said before though, it's the change. And the fear. I can get help to manage financially, I hope. But no-one can help with me losing my tenuous peace of mind.

I think that's why my first reaction was la la la fingers in ears, going to America, commit suicide when I come home.
I've rethought part of that "plan".