[BigV]

Hey footfootfoot

It seems obvious that you're concerned for the safety of your kids. I reckon you have concern for all children ("what should we do", "fertilizer", etc.). Like you, I'll forgo discussing the second, wider question and instead focus on the first question, the safety of your children.

If I were in your situation, just thinking out loud here.....

I have been informed about this man's presence and this label associated with him, and some of his background. I'd talk to him directly. I wouldn't be hostile, but I'd be definite about what I'd been told about him. I'd ask him what his plans are, how he plans to stay safe, etc. I'd tell him I have a couple young kids and that I worry about their safety. I'd make clear to him that I don't want to worry about their safety with regard to him.

As I type this, I realize it sounds very menacing, though that's not my intent. I intend to protect myself and my family by making this man aware of my awareness of him. I would want him to know that I'm alert to his presence and that my kids are alert to his presence; ffs, he's been outed/publicly stigmatized. I would hope to lead him to the conclusion that messing with my children is not worth the trouble. That I know about him and that I'm fine with live and let live, but stay away from my family. Period.

Yep. That still sounds menacing and maybe that's a problem. But I think about all the other kinds of warnings that we're exposed to and what ones are most effective. I think those with a personal touch have the greatest effect. Just what I'm hoping for here, great effect. I'm not suggesting any kind of threat, only to make clear that I and my family are not an easy, unsuspecting target.

...

From the other end of the problem, namely my kids, I'd tell them what's happening too. How to express this serious issue in an age appropriate way (you might have to have your thesaurus handy when you talk to the mm), and in a non-scarring, non-scaring way... those are critical considerations that I can't give specific advice about since I'm not there to read the kids, or the situation. I'd be specific about this fellow, including his picture. Generally speaking, I'd talk about the kinds of things they should look out for. There are the cliches like luring with candy or lost puppies, etc and they're valid, if cliched. Also talk about secrets and how not to have them. Where and what kind of touching is improper (covered by your bathing suit--never proper, for example). Who to avoid being alone with and who it's ok to be alone with (duh, you, mom, etc. a blanket rule isn't gonna work here). Also grooming, which you and I know about, but can be difficult to impossible to convey to a kid.

Those are just the ones that come to mind in this post. There are lots of resources out there to look at and learn from. If this is an area that you'd like more conversation about, say so, and I'll offer more. My point is to tell your kids about what's going on so they're not unsuspecting, oblivious, easy, ignorant victims. How you do that without going too far... that's up to your artfulness as a parent. Frequent, regular check-ins with them helps keep you aware, or at least the chance to be aware about what's going on with them. Help them defend themselves with knowledge and preparation for action.