[lumberjim]

So I find this ring. It's a school ring. Downingtown Senior High. White gold with a sapphire.....well, blue glass, i expect. There's an inscription: :"Jim Helm" on the inside. It;s heavy, and hot from lying in the sun. There's a football player on one side, and '88 on the other.

Into my pocket it goes. The gold has to be worth $50 or so. So the field trip to Valley Forge wasn;t a total waste of my time. Riding the bus back to school, I take it out and am looking over it when the girl behnd me peeks over my seat, and says," Watcha got there, Brenda?" You got a boyfriend we don;t know about?" I hate Wendy. She''s such a bitch!
" Yeah, what's it to you?"
"what's his name?" she asks, not believing me.
"jim. He's a football player"
"Let me see that ring" and she grabs it from me.
"hey! give it back, you slut!" I yell.

Silence. Wendy's mouth drops open, and her face starts to color. The school bus driver looks in the mirror, trying to figure out who yelled. I slide down into my seat, appalled at myself for what I said. Good Catholic girls don't think that way, much less yell it into the silence. I hear Wendy muttering to her friends.

The noise level comes back up, and the driver is not watching anymore, so I turn back around and go to grab the ring back from Wendy. She doesn;t have it anymore. She's passed it to her friend Daniell across the aisle. Daniell is looking at the inscription critically. " Where does Jim go to school, Blender?" I hate it when they call me that. It's not even funny. They only do it cuz they know it gets to me. " I don;t believe you have a football player boyfriend. And it says he graduated in '88. That makes him 18 this year. "
"so what? And he's 19!"
"yeah, sure....A 19 yr old football player is going steady with a 15 yr old nerd like you! Right!"
"So?!"
She laughs. They all laugh. I feel the anger rising. Is it so hard to imagine? Why not me? They're still laughing. I feel tears coming, but I won't cry. Not this time. Not again.

The next thing I remember, the school bus driver has her arm around my neck, and I can;t breathe. The bus is pulled to the side of the road, and everyone is staring at me with wide eyes and open mouths. My hands are bloody and full of hair. The ring is on my middle finger, and its got red goop hanging from it. Then I see Daniell. I think she's dead. She's not moving at all, and her hair is full of blood. It's running down her face too. Then I see her breathing. Suddenly I'm cold. So cold. Every thing is getting dim, and my vision contracts. All I can see is the ring in my hand. Covered with gore. It's strangely beautiful. Shivering, I feel my arms go numb, and then I wake up in the nurses office at school. I still have the ring. It has cut into my finger.

The nurse looks up at me as I sit up on the little vinyl bed.
"You ok, Bren?"
" I don;t think so....what happened?"
"It seems that you attacked Danny, and pulled out most of her hair. You may have blinded her, too. her left eye got in front of that ring, and the paramedics think it might be permanent damage. We'll know tomorrow."
I look down at the ring again. My finger had cramped up, and I cannot unbend it to let go of the ring. Seeing me struggle, the nurse comes over and takes my hand in hers. " You had such a tight grip on this ring that we couldn't take it away without hurting you. Where did you get it?"

" I found it"
"oh, I see." She says. " Wendy said it was your boyfriend's. Ther is no boyfriend then?"
"No." I feel so small.
"Well then why? Why would you fight over it?"
"I don't know," I say. I really don;t know. " they were all laughing at me. That's the last thing I remember."
The nurse helps me get the ring off, takes it to the sink and washes it clean. Coming over with the antiseptic and some gauze, she inspects it. " Football player, huh? Jim Helm. Well, I'm sure he would like to have this back."
"get it away from me" i say.
The alcohol stings. It feels good. I'm wide awake now, and the gravity of what I've done hits me. " Is danny gonna be ok?"
" I'm sure she will, bren. I just hope her eye loooked wors than it was. The skin that was stuck to the ring looked like an eyelid. There were eyelashes. a small piece though"

Now she's shaking me awake.

" HUH?"
" you fainted. I'm sorry. I shouldn;t have said that. The police are here, dear. they want to talk to you"

After the hearing, I had to go home, and pack a bag. 3 months in juvy. christ. I'm so sorry I hurt her. And I am so scared of myself now. How can you make the right choice if you black out? It's not fair. I'll never get mad again. next time I won;t lie either.

~~~~3 months later~~~~~~

My first day at school was strange. Where I had been invisible before, now everyone was staring at me. They looked worried or afraid. Coming around a corner, I am face to face with daniell. She has on dark glasses. Her hair is cut short. " Danny, I'm so sorry." I feel the tears coming agin. This time I'll let them come.
She pushes past me.
I just stand there and cry.