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Edible jockey shorts which taste of Pinot Grigio? Pleasure for him and her (as long as he only slips into them straight from the chocolate scented shower).
A warm jacket which shrinks slightly in the cold/ wet, making it necessary to hand it over to an underdressed partner on a night out.
A trained spider to squeeze the spots on his back. Actually that's creepy rather than crappy.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
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