[BigV]

Originally Posted by BigV

Pronouns confuse me in this context. Can you give me any widely acceptable terms to use? "Transperson" does not fall trippingly from the tongue.

Originally Posted by Pamela

Certainly. Please use the pronouns that correspond to the gender that the person in question is presenting to you, even if you aren't "fooled". If still in doubt, it is not offensive to simply ask "What pronouns do you prefer?"

Great question.

Hi Pam

Thanks for answering my question so directly. That's a good, easy to follow suggestion. However, like all rules, there's an exception that makes it impossible to follow.

Look at this story here.

Dan Savage, a gay man, articulate, involved, knowledgeable and native English speaker tripped on this very problem: how to us third person pronouns.

In addition to having a singular and a plural case, you may have already noticed that the third person has genders and a neuter category.

Third Person

(singular)


Subjective Case
he (masculine)
she (feminine)
it (neuter)

Objective Case
him (masculine)
her (feminine)
it (neuter)

Possessive Case
his/his (masculine)
her/hers (feminine)
its/its (neuter)
- See more at: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/edu....KJRP2HRw.dpuf

When I asked you my question, I was trying to clarify which gender to use. I would *never* have thought to use the neuter category "it". To me, that would be intentionally derogatory. Read the story and and read the comments. The range of points of view is vast. The comments are especially interesting. It's impossible to say anything of substance without running the risk of offending someone, somewhere (Redskins anyone?). While I may offend someone, it's probably due to ignorance than to malice. What a minefield...