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In my appointment with the specialist nurse yesterday she dropped into conversation that the waiting time for detox/ rehab is 2-3 MONTHS not 2-3 weeks as I originally understood.
No surprise this hit me like Mohammed Ali, and being so knocked out I could not articulate well enough to even challenge it. Partly from shock - my stomach dropped in a fight or flight response - partly still trying to maintain the veneer of sanity but partly because of the sheer embarrassment of having misunderstood.
I then came home for a rotten afternoon of self-hating and assuming I was wrong. Then that I was crazy. Then that in fact I was right and this was all a test because so many things have been brought up in one meeting and then never referred to again/ not happened. I suppose the final stage was they think it's convenient to pretend with me because I pretend along.
How confident am I that I was told 2-3 weeks? 75%
How much do I believe there was a genuine misunderstanding on my part? 10%
How well do I think I am being supported currently? 5%
Once again, I was told I would get a text regarding how my application was progressing.
And this was from the nurse I first met back when I was in hospital, so that's back in July and I have seen her every week. The nurse I saw last week was a fill-in, so when she didn't follow through on her promise I thought it was just lack of care. It feels worse this time.
It just drags on and on and on.
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