Sudden actual thoughts, I've had few, some of them, too dirty to mention...
I'm copying a DVD to a folder and a little box pops up telling me, 'yes massa, right away massa, it'll take a couple minutes." What? A couple minutes? Don't you know I'm a white male American, you inexpensive home PC?
But I really don't have many options, so as I sit here doing some not very vitriolic grumbling, I notice it's transferring 3.2 GB per second. Hmm, 3.2 GB, that's 3,200,000 bytes per second, or 25,760,000 bits per second. Holy crap, this isn't some super Google or NSA computer. If those bits were letters it would equal about 8 King James bibles per SECOND.
Hey, wait a damn minute, I'm only copying like 4.4 GB total, you lying sumbitch! The damn computer was trying to make me feel guilty for criticizing it.

The PC is sentient!