[Elspode]

I know you'll all think me strange, but I pursue a more ancient brand of religion.

I'm an Underwoodian, one who uses a non-electric mechanical device to make inscriptions upon crude cellulose sheets. When the writings are thus completed, minions take them from a place on my temple and they are magickally whisked across the lands and seas, to arrive at still another box on a far-away temple.

We hold weekly services at an office supply store.