[footfootfoot]

Thanks everyone. I'm not going to change my handle, she can suck it if she's reading this, plus I've been made aware of alternatives on here.

As for the money and courts we still haven't signed anything yet and I could, if I was out of my fucking mind, tell the atty that I'm not signing and want to make more changes. But I won't. The amount of support I'd get is a bit more than 300/mo. Not worth it to me. Another aspect is how she subtly lies/double binds/push polls. It is almost invisible to the uninitiated. It's almost impossible for me to think of an example of the type of things she effortlessly says. Stuff along the lines of "I spent all my inheritance supporting us while f3x was taking a year off from work."

All of these words are true, just not in that order or the same sentence.

But today I kept reminding myself to put the focus back on what I can do right now with my life, and also remembering that I was the one who was barking up the wrong tree for so long, and it's not like she's changed in any way. The tough balancing act is navigating raising the kids while keeping my mind intact. My shrink was explaining to me about "Radical Acceptance" and I'd taken some notes. Inch was sitting next to me tonight and saw the term and asked me about it. So I explained how it can be helpful when communicating with people in such a way to avoid fights. I gave him a few examples of his mom and I at loggerheads (without throwing her under the bus. He loves her) But I was able to allude to some of the 'echo' behaviors he's picked up and how things might go smoother for him in life if he makes changes, without actually naming him. Does that make sense?

Anyway the anger only comes up when I take the focus from myslef and put it on her and imagine that she is giving someone else the things she wouldn't give me, when the reality is that she is not able to give those things to anyone because she is a narcissist. It's a one way street. I realized her new guy is still in the bright eyes adoring stage and for his sake I hope he never leaves it, because when he does he'll realize he's been filling a well with snow.

So I'm back on my plan for world domination.

And Bruce, I know enough not to stick my dick in crazy. I just wish I could recognize crazy earlier in the game.