Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC
I don't think they're attractive because they're gay. I think what a lot of women find attractive is the lack of machismo - a sense that the person is comfortable with and confident in their sexuality, and doesn't need to project, or protect, their masculinity.
There is an aspect of traditional masculinity that seems to wilfully cast the feminine into an unreachable and unknowable space. To understand and relate to women too strongly makes that masculinity somehow suspect. (the origins of the 'mummy's boy' comes from the idea that once a boy moves out of early childhood he should move wholly out of the female sphere and female company and enter into male companionship and mentoring - so as not to become 'softened' by femininity)
These days what remains is an often quite subtle and less clearly drawn distinction between male and female worlds - but we still mark that distinction and we still as a society hold men who prefer the (non-sexual)company of women to the company of other men in slight disregard. It is almost a sign of a lack of masculinity to be able to relate to women fully as people.
There is something attractive about a man who doesn't seem to care about that shit - and often, gay men have dealt at a more conscious level with their conception of masculinity and have reached a more settled state.
Straight men who are happy to play the edges of that line, and who aren't caught up with projecting masculinity are also often very attractive.
|
You really need to come out here and do some research. I don't mean that in a rude way -you're into this stuff, right? one of the things that shocked me when we arrived was the much more clearly defined/accepted/?archaic gender roles and expectations. What is women's work, which toys and colors belong to which gender.... fathers not letting boys play with dolls..... british men were/are perceived as gay and effeminate. now I've been here long enough, I see why. And yes, American women do find British men attractive. Even the mingers. You may have nailed why. Not just the accent. (although that helps)
(think Colin, Love Actually......)