The Cellar - View Single Post - I think my mother in law is getting ready to die

chrisinhouston · 02-05-2017, 05:34 PM

Thanks to all who replied. It was a busy week what with my mother in law, my wife and her pill-cam and me helping my 10 year old granddaughter get her science fair project done!

So today is Sunday and my mother in law has not eaten anything really since Wednesday which was a few bites of a hamburger, she probably has really only had 6 ounces of solid food in the past week. She only drinks a few sips of water and sometimes some lemon-lime soda. But she is happy and not complaining. She says food just doesn't taste right.

We took her blood pressure last night and it was 114/56 with a resting heart rate of 60. She has no fever and feels comfortable to the touch. Her color is good but if you pinch the skin on her arm it takes several seconds to retract which is usually a sign of dehydration.

This morning I told my wife we should try to get there a little earlier than her usual time for getting up around 10 so we got there at 9:30 and she was already up in her recliner with her little dog in her lap. She said she slept ok and had just got up. I worry she might fall from a bit of dizziness or weakness and then break a bone. Then she would have to go to hospital and might never come back.

I suggested to my wife that we get some adult diapers. Right now she uses Depends type ones but she might get to where she is bedridden and those will be harder to get on and off. That is what we had to do with my mom. And we got some baby wipes and latex gloves. I don't think she has much in her digestive track but better to be ready.

She is in a Senior Independent apartment complex so she lives on her own. We do have a bath aide who comes on Tuesday and Friday to bath her, we have alluded to what may be happening but so far mom is fine to sit in the shower stall with help and get bathed but I think that will stop next week. Also a home health nurse comes once a week who is also aware of some of what is going on. She says she would contact us first if she is worried about her. And I have the Do Not Resuscitate request there in case we need it. This is a different situation from what I dealt with on my parents who both had home hospice care. For that a hospital or Dr. had to order it. But mom hasn't seen a doctor or gone to a hospital. She has no symptoms that would suggest she do that like a fever or pain.

I've been doing some reading up on this stage of life as the body prepares for death. She could go 1-2 weeks without food and water especially if she is getting a bit of liquids to keep the mouth moist. She may have bursts of energy but will slowly get to where she will only lie in bed. She is sensitive to noise, this is common. I think that is why she either has the TV off or turned on with no sound. She mostly looks out the window, pets her dog who loves being in her lap or next to her. She dozes in and out. We go by at 7:30 or so and get her into bed, she sleeps the whole night getting up at 9:30-10. I think her soul knows it is time to go.

My wife is in town for the next 2 weeks. We are pretty sure something will happen before that time passes. Her brother decided not to fly in this week, he was here last month and visitors sometimes cause the person to rally and hold on. He doesn't want to be the cause of her prolonging what will happen and maybe suffering.

It's just a wait and see.

02-05-2017, 05:34 PM	#10
chrisinhouston Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,857	Thanks to all who replied. It was a busy week what with my mother in law, my wife and her pill-cam and me helping my 10 year old granddaughter get her science fair project done! So today is Sunday and my mother in law has not eaten anything really since Wednesday which was a few bites of a hamburger, she probably has really only had 6 ounces of solid food in the past week. She only drinks a few sips of water and sometimes some lemon-lime soda. But she is happy and not complaining. She says food just doesn't taste right. We took her blood pressure last night and it was 114/56 with a resting heart rate of 60. She has no fever and feels comfortable to the touch. Her color is good but if you pinch the skin on her arm it takes several seconds to retract which is usually a sign of dehydration. This morning I told my wife we should try to get there a little earlier than her usual time for getting up around 10 so we got there at 9:30 and she was already up in her recliner with her little dog in her lap. She said she slept ok and had just got up. I worry she might fall from a bit of dizziness or weakness and then break a bone. Then she would have to go to hospital and might never come back. I suggested to my wife that we get some adult diapers. Right now she uses Depends type ones but she might get to where she is bedridden and those will be harder to get on and off. That is what we had to do with my mom. And we got some baby wipes and latex gloves. I don't think she has much in her digestive track but better to be ready. She is in a Senior Independent apartment complex so she lives on her own. We do have a bath aide who comes on Tuesday and Friday to bath her, we have alluded to what may be happening but so far mom is fine to sit in the shower stall with help and get bathed but I think that will stop next week. Also a home health nurse comes once a week who is also aware of some of what is going on. She says she would contact us first if she is worried about her. And I have the Do Not Resuscitate request there in case we need it. This is a different situation from what I dealt with on my parents who both had home hospice care. For that a hospital or Dr. had to order it. But mom hasn't seen a doctor or gone to a hospital. She has no symptoms that would suggest she do that like a fever or pain. I've been doing some reading up on this stage of life as the body prepares for death. She could go 1-2 weeks without food and water especially if she is getting a bit of liquids to keep the mouth moist. She may have bursts of energy but will slowly get to where she will only lie in bed. She is sensitive to noise, this is common. I think that is why she either has the TV off or turned on with no sound. She mostly looks out the window, pets her dog who loves being in her lap or next to her. She dozes in and out. We go by at 7:30 or so and get her into bed, she sleeps the whole night getting up at 9:30-10. I think her soul knows it is time to go. My wife is in town for the next 2 weeks. We are pretty sure something will happen before that time passes. Her brother decided not to fly in this week, he was here last month and visitors sometimes cause the person to rally and hold on. He doesn't want to be the cause of her prolonging what will happen and maybe suffering. It's just a wait and see.