[xoxoxoBruce]

To the tune of “Volga Boatman”

On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
Now you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
Now that you're the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
So far Death you have bypassed
Don't look back, he's gaining fast
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
When you've reached this age you know
That the mind is first to go
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
This one lesson you must learn
First you pillage, then you burn
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
Burn the castle and storm the keep
Kill the women, but save the sheep
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
Doom and gloom and dark despair
People dying everywhere!
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
Your servants steal, your spouse untrue
Your children plot to murder you
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
Burn, then rape by firelight
Add romance to life tonight
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
We love children, yes we do
Baked or broiled or in a stew
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
May your deeds with sword and axe
Equal those with sheep and yaks
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]
Just be glad the friends you've got
Haven't found out you-know-what
On your birth-day [thud] Happy birth-day [thud]