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Old 01-25-2007, 09:13 AM   #150
Elspode
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Monkey View Post
That's part of the insanity. You told him that if he wore a necklace his girlfriend made for him, you would kick him out of the house.
I feel like this is a gross oversimplification. The issue, in the end, is not the necklace, it is the defiance of parental authority. The subject matter is largely irrelevant. If her son chose to tell her to stuff it, then he is, defacto, accepting the consequences of what comes after.

I've been down to this point countless times with my kids...I think something should be one way, and they want it another way, and so we arrive at the "Where you gonna live and whatcha gonna eat?" point. Move out, and do what you wish, and I'll wish you the best. Stay here, and I have the final say. This is non-neogtiable. If you don't have that line with your older children, you *will* get used, walked on, abused, swindled and generally compromised - not because your kids don't love you, but because they have not yet learned about give and take, mutual backscratching, and all the other social niceties that adults have experienced.

Kids are used to being supported, cared for, taking a free ride. So, when they finally think they are old enough to do what they want, they tend to not remember that there's countless other responsibilities that go along with that freedom. All they know is what the child learned, and that doesn't include not having mommy or daddy fix their screwups, tend their booboos, give them allowance money.

It is a difficult transition for everyone involved. Could OC have handled things a little better? Sure. We all can. But her standing on principles of respect and obedience to a child living under her roof is not at all out of line.
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