Quote:
Originally Posted by monster
I am thankful for my real-life friends who schooled me on what I should do. Turns out the appropriate thing is to go to the visitation and skip the funeral. Because this is a full-on Catholic do. Visitation is about showing your support for the family of the deceased, funeral is for those who really knew the deceased. Or so they tell me. So that's what I'll do.
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Firstly, my sympathy to you.
As you know, we don't do the visitation thing here (open casket?)
I only know how to do the Catholic thing, which would be for anyone and everyone to go to the full-on Mass. People who simply attend the same church do that here, even if they only nodded to them across the aisle once, even people they knew years ago who saw the obituary in the Bucks Herald. Mum took me to a number of funeral Masses when Grandad was very ill. Shopping for ideas. The only real rule is to give up your seat if it ends up being standing room only and you
know you were only a random acquaintance. Otherwise the more the merrier - better people who came in out of the rain than a poor send-off.
And everyone and anyone is welcome back to the house (or hall) afterwards. If you don't have a good reason
not to attend, and don't, it's considered mildly rude - on a par with calling a new partner by an ex's name, say.
It's attending the graveside that's considered close friends and family only.
It's a terrible faux pas to intrude there.
Glad you got the right advice from the locals.
Turns out funerals are more cultural than religious in many ways.