[Sundae]

When I was living in London with Steve he believed he could help me because he'd had depression.
Self diagnosed and unmedicated. But he talked about it so confidently I had always believed him.
Turns out he was "cured" by having a couple of therapy sessions, and therefore thought that this was the only viable way of "curing" depression.
I started to have my suspicions when he advised me to just start by doing something I enjoy - that's he he started getting his life back again.
It was tricky to explain that I did not enjoy anything when I was at my worst. Not eating, drinking, reading, sleeping, talking, watching television, taking a shower etc etc. All far too ambitious to even attempt.

Of course once the medication started to kick in I did treat myself to things I had previously enjoyed. And I did get to the point where I started to take pleasure in them again. My meds have finally brought me back to where I should be - a thrill on a frosty morning, enjoying a bumpy train ride, fascinated by a mosiac glass candle holder. But I won't forget that there was a time when I couldn't summon the willpower to go the toilet even when I was in physical pain from needing to go. That's not a walk-it-off level of being.