A hot bath with a shot of:
Olbas Herbal Bath , and
Dr. Bronner's Peppermint castile soap. And a sandalwood candle, from
Pier One, I think.
With: a hot cup of
Celestial Seasonings Mint Magic tea, with honey, lemon,
Broncolin (Mexican...cough syrup?), and
Sailor Jerry's spiced rum.
This is the most relaxed you can legally get without a prescription.
Edit: As for coconuts, get one cut to shape in its raw husk, drill two holes with a sanitized drill bit (one to drain, one for air to get back in) and drain the juice. Mix with Sailor Jerry's and fresh-squeezed limes, use a small funnel to pour back into coconut shell/husk. Pop in a straw.