I was spanked as a child, sometimes a simple swat, but other times over the knee with a wooden spoon. Always by my mother. It was rare... I was spanked maybe 10 times in my life. But I earned every spanking I got, I don't feel my parents treated me unjustly. My dad never really spanked me, but the mere thought of him being upset and disappointed with me was bad enough.
Lots of kids today are not disciplined enough, and they walk all over their parents. Part of this is due to parents being too lax, but I can identify with them to a degree... they're living in a time where one will be harshly judged for over-discsiplining or under-disciplining their child. They walk on a razor's edge sometimes with this kind of stuff. But we've got a generation of kids who may not be prepared for the world, because they've always done whatever they want to. I think this is a big factor in the growing popularity of blame-dodging and whininess... nobody takes responsibility for anything anymore.
I guess I have several basic philosophies on disciplining kids, which will probably change as I gain experience:
1) Know where you're going with punishment. Always know what you'll do next if the current measure is unsuccessul. Whether it's spanking, time-out, whatever.
2) Be consistent with a child. The whole point of discipline is to modify behavior, and inconsistency will bugger that up.
3) Never make a threat you won't follow through on. If you do, a boundary just collapsed.
4) What works for one child may not work for another... offer custom-fit discipline to increase effectiveness.
5) It is important that the child understands WHY they are being punished, and when escalating, they should know that it is because previous measures didn't get through to them. Allowing a child to know WHY they are being punished does not require that they agree with the reasoning.
Of course there are thousands of associated little details, but I think those are the key considerations. If that approach doesn't work, then fuck it... bend their fingers backwards until they stop the offending behavior.
