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I was asked to run a marathon and I said "no chance".
Then I was told it was for blind and disabled kids so I thought fuck it, I could win that!
Michael Jackson bought Stevie Wonder a cheese grater for Christmas. He says it's the best book he's ever read.
Chinese man rings his boss. "Me no work, I sick". Boss says "When i'm sick, I fuck my wife, Try that". Two hours later, Chinese fella rings back "me feel better. You got nice house".
Man calls his boss. "I won't be in today, i'm sick". Boss says "how sick?" Man says "i'm in bed with my sister".
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Back from the brink...
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