[Whit]

     I thought of a few stories of childhood disillusionment when I first read the thread but no full thoughts to type out. Then at the grocery store the other day I saw something that might qualify.

     In the line in front of my daughter and I was a boy in the shopping cart. He was probably six or seven, but it was hard to say. He was beyond skinny, more like emaciated. His poorly formed bones stuck out through tightly pulled flesh. I'm not sure what the boys illness was, but he was clearly severely underdeveloped. For all this he looked out at the world with an odd blank interest, at first I thought he was mentally deficient as well. Then he looked me in the eye with what appeared to be shining intelligent eyes. It was weird, one moment he looked dazed but curious. The next he looked like someone that had just struck upon a new idea. He looked at me with clear recognition of a stranger in front of him. He expression changed, he smiled shyly, even nervously and raised a hand in a wave that was almost as underdeveloped as his body. It hurt a little to see his great optimism in what was likely to be a very short and painful life. I gave him a warm (hopefully even playful) smile and a little wave back.
     About that time his mother, who was loading the items onto the conveyor to be rung up, seemed to realize someone was looking at her son. She turned almost to quickly for me to pretend to have been looking at something else all along. After she shot a severe look into my peripherals she wrote a check. As unobtrusively as possible, I studied the woman's face, she looked tired, beyond tired actually. Like she had been emotionally pushed to the breaking point everyday for years. The boys head had laid down on the hand grip. He clearly and sharply said the word "UP" and his mother reflexively raised his head back up straight. Apparently he could usually hold his head up but once it laid over, he needed help. This happened twice while we were there.
     I thought about how hard his mom's life must be, and how tired she looked. Maybe in the dark corners of my mind I wondered if she resented the fact that she had been given a son that couldn't live a normal life. That would never be able to take care of himself. Then I noticed her purchase. An inflatable swimming pool and a float.
     Most days I'll tell you I hate people. That people are largely and typically petty, deceitful, greedy and self-absorbed. Then I see a woman like this. Dutifully doing whatever she can to make her sons difficult and probably short life a happy one. Even if it killed her. Makes me wonder what people are really capable of deep down.