[Stormieweather]

Having boundaries mean you are aware of and protect the lines where what is good for your spouse conflicts with what is good for you. A healthy relationship is like a seesaw of power. Each person must have the opportunity to be in the up (powerful) position. The length of time they remain in control of the outcome of 'ties' varies between relationships, but if their partner is never allowed to be the powerful one, the partner will eventually become resentful and defiant, so the relationship breaks down.

If you are referring to morals and values, presumably, the two of you discussed and agreed on these prior to committing to each other. I know I wouldn't marry someone who had the potential to rob a bank or abuse my children. So before I even allow someone into my life as a mate, I must know that we are on the same page in regards to our morals and values.

Everyone should know what they absolutely will not tolerate. In addition, they need to know what they absolutely cannot live without. Everything in between is negotiable and these compromises contribute to or detract from the balance of power.

The enormity of the compromises needs to be considered, as well. If Mr. A decides to move his family halfway across the country, Mrs. A should have the opportunity to make a choice of similar impact. I feel that this sort of thinking keeps a relationship balanced and partners rather than subordinate/superior.


This is my experience anyway. And it may be totally off base because, as others have said, no context for the original question was given.

Stormie