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Old 12-14-2017, 09:10 PM   #24
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
snip-- (It's all good, but this part is the best)

For the rest of us it appeared women had the power, were in control, and guys like me would have to do the best we could to win favor sex. We all used the tools we had, and for a few one of those tools was power. Whether the physical power to rape or social power of the paycheck, it’s not fair, not right.
It isn't fair, it isn't right.

I believe that I should try to do what *is* fair, what *is* right, all the time, to the best of my ability. I fall short of that ability practically all the time, with occasional spikes up to the line of my ability, then back down to "if I'm not too tired".

Sex... whoooooo....

What a loaded topic. Just freighted with all kinds of stuff, power, desire, violence, romance, tenderness, and on and on and on and on. And I know you all know what I mean and the degree to which this is understated. I'm a grown goddamn man and it's still a delightful, frustrating, satisfying, complex, fulfilling, enticing, teasing *MYSTERY*, day by day. There's so much to it, and yet it can still be focused to a pinpoint, figuratively speaking.

I think of an orchestra, when it's at it's most fulsome and graceful. And sometimes I just feel like a Buddy Rich solo, so to speak. The coming together (pardon the pun) of two people each with their own baggage, present mental and physical state, can we be heard?, can we be seen, and on and on....

That people do get it on at all peaceably and mutually seems more a miracle, more surprising than the current domination of the news of So. Many. Assholes.

In my experience, and using my experience as context for what I'm reading and hearing, there is a WIDE RANGE of gambits and a similarly wide range of responses. And context is king. No, strike that, Consent is King. Anyhow, I think I mostly (stupefying understatement) don't know all the facts, or even many of the facts of what's in the news lately. But I also know that I have had my words and intentions misunderstood. Sucks for me. But for someone on the other side of the conversation, maybe their experience wasn't just "darnit, let me try to rephrase that", but something much more alarming, more horrible.

That mismatch, man, I hate it when that happens. But some of these fucking assholes are COUNTING ON THAT MISUNDERSTANDING, as several, including you, UT, have pointed out. Who the fuck likes being tricked? And then fucked in the bargain? Right. Nobody. Doing it with deliberate deception is just evil and/or criminal. Those fuckers should burn.

And along the spectrum, being crass, being boorish, being a clue-challenged asshole shouldn't be grounds for criminal prosecution, and maybe not for being forced from one's job. Maybe maybe baby baby... what the hell do I know.


Using the tools one has, pursuing the goals one has, engaging and communicating with another person, enjoining them to join together, so to speak, that's how it's done. But if my tool is power and her tool is her body, and my goal is an orgasm and her goal is to keep her job... it's not gonna end well, not for her. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. We all know that. But we now see many many instances of justification, if you're not caught, you're not guilty. If you don't resist, you don't have to go on unemployment.

Yeah.. that's not right.
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