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Yeh I agree with Clod on that this has to end immediately. There is some attraction to going back to a simpler time, recapturing your youth, oh what could have been.... You're in your 40's right? TRUST ME! End it now. You got kids and a family that love you, whether you realize it or not. Put 10000% of your energy into that.
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt
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