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Old 05-16-2017, 10:47 PM   #1535
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
So at 4:00 AM this morning, Mr. Clod's phone suddenly goes nuts with texts. He initially assumes it's a work emergency, but no, they're from random people all saying, "Hey," "Hi," "What's up?" etc.

He starts engaging with these people, trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and eventually it becomes clear that someone has listed his number on a Craigslist bootycall post--actually not his number, just his number with a different-but-similar area code, and these are all the idiots trolling craigslist at 4 AM in Austin who also can't read for comprehension. (Which means god knows how many people correctly texted this supposed 23-year-old in need of a plowing...)

He tells everyone they have the wrong number, mystery solved, time to go back to bed--but being Mr. Clod, he can't pass up the opportunity to educate.

"But you do know these things are fake though, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"Look, if she were really a 23-year-old girl, she'd be using Tinder, not craigslist. This is either a pimp, or a porn website looking to drum up business, or most likely just a guy who gets off on sexting with other guys."
[Long pause] "Yeah, well, thanks for the tip."
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