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Originally Posted by DanaC

Seriously, trace, I just wanted to know what the 'hmmm' indicated - I wasn't being snarky.

I didn't think you were, I figured you were on your toes an thinking I might be snarky. Which is not a horrible idea - I am on my toes wondering if the back of my head is going to be snarky at me too.
Honestly I wrote and deleted a few before not being sure which direction to go with - they all felt like they'd lead to dead ends convo cut offs, I was partially hoping you'd jump to a conclusion on what I meant and I was going to see where that went, but lacking that, a BSG starbucks action figure for your inner child seemed like a better dead end then the others.

There was this article "the art of conversation" of an interviewer who had years of talking to philosophers and artists and politicians and whatnot, can't remember his name, though I think he was british.
But I remember he had this really edifying view of it, you know the sort of format that brings something from just under the view into light, like a concept that is on the tip of your tongue but never ad a word getting verbalized into something you can work with and build upon?
His was like that, that there is a dynamic and an art to it, a game in which people take turns to make the rules as they as they go along, building a language within it...
And you see this all the time, in every conversation - imagine any conversation you ever heard, and now imagine hearing it for the first time without knowing who it is from. Think how many questions come to mind - What are the rules of the game? Are fallacies going to be the hammers? Are feelings and authenticity the legitimizing force? What is shared and assumed so easily it's never said? What is referenced outside as a show of common language - tropes or memes or bible verses or philosopher quotes or norse myths or tom and jerry episodes? Where is there friction? In the branches? in the basic foundations? in the direction they approach the shared foundation with? Where do the perspectives struggle to hear each other? What is it they each think they know the other doesn't? All of these are rules that unfold as it goes along, creating a fantastic and very unique game - and it can happen with anyone: From family where the dialogue might have rules so solidified and established they are part of you, to a stranger in the bus where a complete spontaneous game erupts. Remember in mofo? There used to be conversations that went on weeks, months, in a few cases years.

but dead ends... it might be civil, it might be agree to disagree and all that jazz and not letting conflicting opinions about one thing stop from making a doctor who joke later that day....