View Single Post
Old 02-14-2004, 02:56 AM   #112
mrnoodle
bent
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: under the weather
Posts: 2,656
more military jokes (lol these are it, unless you want dirty ones)

>U.S. Marine Corp Rules for Gun Fighting:
>
>1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your
>friends who have guns.
>
>
>2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Your
>life is expensive.
>
>
>3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
>
>
>4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough
>nor using cover correctly.
>
>
>5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and
>diagonal movement are preferred.)
>
>
>6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a
>friend with a long gun.
>
>
>7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
>tactics. They will only remember who lived.
>
>
>8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and
>running.
>
>
>9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more
>dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
>
>
>9.5 Use a gun that works EVERY TIME.
>
>
>10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to
>beat you to death with it because it is empty.
>
>
>11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
>
>
>12. Have a plan.
>
>
>13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
>
>
>14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
>
>
>15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect Your Ass.
>
>
>16. Don't drop your guard.
>
>
>17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
>
>
>18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust, everyone else, keep
>your hands where I can see them).
>
>
>19. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
>
>
>20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
>
>
>21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone and
>everything you meet and see.
>
>
>22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
>
>
>23. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to
>avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
>
>
>24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not
>start with a ".4"
>
>
>
>Navy Rules to Gun Fighting:
>
>
>1. Go to Sea.
>
>
>2. Send in the Marines.
>
>
>3. Drink Coffee.
>
>
>4. Play with your Inflatable Doll.
>
>
>
>Army Rules to Gun Fighting:
>
>
>1. Go Back to Sleep.
>
>
>2. Send in the Marines.
>
>
>3. Wake up and have a Cup of Coffee.
>
>
>4. Tell the General the Enemy Retreated and Couldn't be Found.
>
>
>
>Air Force Rules to Gun Fighting:
>
>
>1. Blow the shit out of everything on the ground.
>
>
>2. Send in the Marines to kill whatâ?Ts left.
>
>
>3. Have a Cup of Coffee and wait for the Marine Recon Report.
>
>
>4. Take ALL the Credit.
>
>
>
mrnoodle is offline   Reply With Quote