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chrisinhouston · 03-04-2013, 06:20 PM

Today I am rather upset about my son and his mental health situation. This is my oldest child, the one who joined the navy and ended up applying to the USNA and got in and graduated in 2007. He did 5 years in the Navy and made it to a Lieutenant and I only found out last fall that he had attempted suicide while in the sub fleet and was being let go. He did end up with a full honorable discharge and was discharged for medical reasons which is good, he can still get VA coverage and benefits. He got a good job in Pennsylvania in the private sector and moved his family which is his wife of 2 years, 1 year old son and his mother (my ex) who lives with him due to some health issues.

I spoke with him on the phone the other night, I had heard his wife and baby went back to Washington state for a family visit for a week or 2 and I was upset that he was feeling very depressed. Seems like the remnants of the depression that drove him to contemplate suicide while in the sub fleet are still with him. I asked him if he had found a good therapist yet, he said no and that he could only see a VA psychiatrist once every other month or something and that every civilian one he called had a waiting list to get in. I asked him if he was taking his anti depression meds and he said he had quit all of them a few weeks ago as he read that most of the shooters in those mass murder gun tragedies was on drugs for mental health (thankfully he does not own a gun that I am award of). I cautioned him about stopping the meds. He said he was lonely and missed his wife but they are tallking a lot on the phone, she was home with family as her grandmother was dying. I encouraged him to work against the depression, reach out and talk to others, and all the other things I could think of. He said he wasn't sleeping much and not eating, all signs of serious depression.

I reminded him that all his troubles that seem so big are just temporary and he has a good job, a wonderful wife and baby and really not much to worry about. He asked me if I liked kids, like babies. I told him I did and had taken to being a dad right away and loved spending time with him and his siblings when they were babies and as they grew up. He said he loved his son but had difficulty relating to him. I knew my son had struggled with the fact that he married and the baby came so fast and that he had had a hard time dealing with him as a new born, he just had no intuitive parenting skills. Now his son is 20 months old, real active and beginning to talk and running around the house, really active. I tried to remind my son what it was like when he was that age, I told him he looks up to you as your dad and when you walk in that door you are the most important thing in his day. I told him not to worry so much and the only thing he has any control over is himself and how he reacts to things effecting his life.

My wife said I did a good job of talking to him and giving him advice. However, I don't know what his future will be like. Something deep down in side him is causing a lot of mental pain. Oh well, it will all work out I guess but I wish I could do more for him.

Thanks for listening if you read this.

03-04-2013, 06:20 PM	#9066
chrisinhouston Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,857	Today I am rather upset about my son and his mental health situation. This is my oldest child, the one who joined the navy and ended up applying to the USNA and got in and graduated in 2007. He did 5 years in the Navy and made it to a Lieutenant and I only found out last fall that he had attempted suicide while in the sub fleet and was being let go. He did end up with a full honorable discharge and was discharged for medical reasons which is good, he can still get VA coverage and benefits. He got a good job in Pennsylvania in the private sector and moved his family which is his wife of 2 years, 1 year old son and his mother (my ex) who lives with him due to some health issues. I spoke with him on the phone the other night, I had heard his wife and baby went back to Washington state for a family visit for a week or 2 and I was upset that he was feeling very depressed. Seems like the remnants of the depression that drove him to contemplate suicide while in the sub fleet are still with him. I asked him if he had found a good therapist yet, he said no and that he could only see a VA psychiatrist once every other month or something and that every civilian one he called had a waiting list to get in. I asked him if he was taking his anti depression meds and he said he had quit all of them a few weeks ago as he read that most of the shooters in those mass murder gun tragedies was on drugs for mental health (thankfully he does not own a gun that I am award of). I cautioned him about stopping the meds. He said he was lonely and missed his wife but they are tallking a lot on the phone, she was home with family as her grandmother was dying. I encouraged him to work against the depression, reach out and talk to others, and all the other things I could think of. He said he wasn't sleeping much and not eating, all signs of serious depression. I reminded him that all his troubles that seem so big are just temporary and he has a good job, a wonderful wife and baby and really not much to worry about. He asked me if I liked kids, like babies. I told him I did and had taken to being a dad right away and loved spending time with him and his siblings when they were babies and as they grew up. He said he loved his son but had difficulty relating to him. I knew my son had struggled with the fact that he married and the baby came so fast and that he had had a hard time dealing with him as a new born, he just had no intuitive parenting skills. Now his son is 20 months old, real active and beginning to talk and running around the house, really active. I tried to remind my son what it was like when he was that age, I told him he looks up to you as your dad and when you walk in that door you are the most important thing in his day. I told him not to worry so much and the only thing he has any control over is himself and how he reacts to things effecting his life. My wife said I did a good job of talking to him and giving him advice. However, I don't know what his future will be like. Something deep down in side him is causing a lot of mental pain. Oh well, it will all work out I guess but I wish I could do more for him. Thanks for listening if you read this.